Fear no more

I have been in Thailand for five days now and in these five days I have learned more about myself than in the past 32 years.  I have learned that I have no fears.  The fears that have built up in me for the last 32 years were nothing but irrational thoughts holding me hostage from living my life.  I keep thinking to myself why did it take me so long to take this leap of faith, why was I so afraid, why did I doubt myself, why why why.  Then I realized that I was beginning to live my life in regret again and needed to let that go and live right here and right now.  It doesn’t matter that it took me so long to get here.  I am here now and I don’t plan on going anywhere soon.  Since I have been here I have felt a sense of calm.  Any fears that I had coming into this have dissipated.  Playing volleyball in the school yard with the students today felt so natural and I couldn’t stop smiling.  This is where I am meant to be and teaching is what I am meant to do.  I have long said I am a teacher without a classroom and in a few short weeks that will no longer be the case.  I feel on top of the world.