Author: Chase Demaille

I’m fighting the logical decision to take a shower and clean off my salty hair and sunburnt skin…and the even more rational decision of going to bed. But I swear the Thailand sea is filled with uppers (party peeps quit peeing in the ocean), because I just can’t shake off this high.

I’ve known all week that the fresher air of somewhere else but Bangkok was going to be mine this weekend. But the decision of going back to Hua Hin, wasn’t made until 9 AM Saturday. Transportation (to and from) – $11.61/ 360 thb and 4.5 hours. Hotel room (one night) – $14.51/ 450 thb. Travel buddies – 0. This time I was taking on Hua Hin on my first solo adventure about Thailand, and this time with a more healthy and employed pocket of change. Going out and about on a mini-vacation by yourself can be such a treat. You can leave whenever with no one worrying about getting in late, go to bed early with no need to party hardy, be awkwardly quiet for sustained periods of time with your nose in a book/journal/ukulele, and simply prance around to the beat of your own music-making self.

To keep this post short and sweet, just like this beautiful life- I’m going to list off the beauty that was my heavenly….

HUA HIN solo adveNUTURE:

1. Being told by 7-8 different Thais that my Thai skills are really good, one was like how are you almost fluent in 5 months? But I think I’ve just got the small talk down. And I think Thais are not used to farangs (Western foreigners) even being able to say “Hello!” in Thai.

2. New duck friends/lap buddies while waiting for the van. Then three new kissing, snorting pug friends upon arrival. One, who was as loving as could be, was a tender 17 years old!

3. Little beaches to myself and the old white man who didn’t care that nudie swimming is super illegal and in Thailand.

4. Sunset yoga on the beach with sand in every nook and cranny.

5. Hanging out on the pier with the fisherman and begging dogs at last light. Played some Jason Mraz for them and I think they enjoyed the tunes.

6. ALL THE GOODIES- Mango sticky rice, Rotee, and roasted yellow corn for dinner on Saturday. SO MUCH ARROY MAK MAK!

7. 30-minute turned 1-hour foot massages at the bustling night market.

8. The cutest little hotel room with the most comfortable bed made for sweet dreams. Complete with a quiet early night and morning (an impossible thing for Maha Chai) and the view of coconuts from the palm tree outside my window.

9. Lunch at Bud’s food stand near my TESOL school back in October. This woman is gold, I couldn’t believe it but she remembered my order. SAY WHAT?! You bet it tasted better than ever.

10. Non-stop sleepy surf town vibes with smiley old ladies and gents hanging out in the narrowest of sois.

11. Stunning lady boys, who need to be hired to teach me makeup, telling me I’m gorgeous. SUAY MAK MAK, no you!

12. Mile long walks on the beach with the happiest of bare feet and bronzing skin.

13. Paddle boarding in the ocean for the first time! While I’m only trained in lake SUP yoga, this was the best decision that could have been a bad decision. Now although the current and crashing waves sent me on so many nose dives and flailing leg falls, I couldn’t have been happier. With ‘Stir it up’ by Bob Marley stuck in my head, how could I not spend this majestic time in the water full of smiles and laughter.

14. Schools of silver fish surrounding my board. All coming up to breathe in the freshness and say hello.

15. Ocean drifting meditation and yoga …probably the best thing in this world. Especially when you’re on your own you-sized transient island.

16. Battle scars of board chaffed knees and elbows. And sore thighs feeling the aftermath of my curious desire to step outside my paddle-boarding comfort zone and try in non-stop attempts to surf the waves. I will. I will get it. Yes, I can. Yes!

17. Reggae bouncing off the sides of the afternoons tent and a devoured “American Short Stories’ book in hand.

18. New friends complete with jam seshes and little dance parties in the tent! Teh was a sun-kissed Thai musician who gave out the most helpful free ukulele lessons and quite a few amazing music suggestions. Milo was a bright-eyed Slovakian vegan and fellow reader friend. Sharing stories of healthy eats, corrupt systems, spiritual revolutions, and body chemistry made the afternoon pass by in the most pleasant fashion.

18. Strawberry pink skin let me know it was time to go as the ocean of noise let me know, “You work too hard, rest your bones and stay a little longer.” Oh how I wish I could. I’m such a California girl at heart. As my beach baby and water loving spirit is always most on fire with no make up, awkward bikini tanlines, sandy skin, and messy, salty soaked hair.

19. Popping into the Western-style Villa Market for the things of my dreams, quite literally. I have been dreaming about avocados and having multiple domestic and organic varieties to choose from. How much my taste buds and tummy are going to freak when those green outsides turn black!

20. A van ride home at the timing of the setting rose hued sun. With a heart so inspired, I wrote in my journal until there was no light left and then made notes upon notes in my phones memory.

To bring an end to this wonderful weekend and finally shower off the physical reminders of beach town bliss, I’ll end with one of the poems written on the drive back home. Namaste and goodnight my friends. May you witness life unfold with love breathing from your fingertips and find yourself effortlessly singing out with gratitude for goodness spilling over. ♥

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With a goal so prized, we cure.

–

–

Seeping truth breeds in the eyes

Of hearts struggling, being pure.

Together in extreme ease,

Mirroring the singing breeze.

Nature of fallen boundaries,

Is ours, is This, is us.

An essence of flowering Trust.

–

Truth doers be wary of eyes closed,

So beautiful. Hide and go seek,

These players always trip you amid sleep.

Not you, just Me, just mine.

They know not of an open mind.

But those weeping lies

Will do all they can,

To fulfill a set demise.

–

So fill it up and sink it in, to realize

What it really is.

A yin to your yang, don’t be afraid

As instability may like to play.

But a changing mess,

Is still inside countless unity,

Unknowingly striving to impress.

–

So dwindle down your star-filled

Slide and fall forever now.

To some day be again, the divine

Dancer in the sky.

Together now, is Truth enough.

In doubt? Kiss the moon’s silver

Canyons and gold again we’ll shine.

No eyes shall see it, rather let

Them feel It.

Revolution we become.

–

–

Yesterday I received news from my soulmate back home in the States that his life was one foot from being over. An invasion of his home. An attack out of unjustified reasoning, as I have never met anyone who dislikes him. The friendliest spirit that radiates pure and honest to all.

Best friend. His home. Unknown shooter. One bullet. 12 inches. Life continues.

I never realized that my eyes had become faded until I read that email yesterday night. As word by word nothing else mattered but what was presently being read aloud in my mind. How much I want to be with him and quit our jobs and travel to every little corner of this beautiful world together and really take advantage of this one precious life we have together, right now. But I can’t, I’m over 8,000 miles from him and time isn’t stopping. Our lives are what they are now. A part. So I emailed him back with every other phrase being ‘I LOVE YOU’ and spilled out true words of his tremendous worth, our miracles of life, and reminders that the moment is where we need to be, always.

So I woke up today after a shaky slim four hours of sleep, and assumed that today I will live consciously in every moment. I need to be with life, because it is even more spontaneous and unpredictable than I am, amazingly enough. So I woke with some quick yoga, deep breathing exercises, and an accompanied lively soundtrack of ODESZA to dance with the new day. With my hot green tea in hand, I ran across the worlds most dangerous intersection with attempted grace to catch the songtaew (Small-bus-Open-Air-Truck-thing) to school. Five minutes later, off we (Teacher Alyssa too!) went!

I took in the scenery for a bit, as we cross over a couple large river banks, I then went into my grounding ritual to pass the 30 minute ride with no need for music, a book, or a cellphone. I simply sit tall, feet planted square on the wood paneled floor, and place my hands in one another, facing up. Although the smog wears thick through my hair in the speeding wind and the noise and commotion of the freeway is unavoidable, I dove deep into mediation this morning. Imagining I was breathing out golden-orange air that surrounded my bodies frame. The glowing air in and out of me changed in brightness depending on whether or not I was breathing in or out. In, bright light. Out, calm light. The glowing air was of me but it reached further away from me, especially straight ahead into a vector I’m assuming was collective consciousness or simply the spirit of life. No, I was not on drugs and no, I am not insane. I just allow my sheer existence and imagination, guided by my breathe and third eye awareness, to take the reigns. Upon opening my eyes up, the world felt clear but my eyes felt relaxed but not tired, admiring even more so the smallest of details. The way a single palm tree tilted over the river, leaving a picture perfect reflection on the water. The sincerity of the smile in the eyes of the woman who collects our songtaew payment. And once we got off, I couldn’t help but notice the micro-community and brothership of what the motorbike taxi workers have created. All looking alike in their red vests and filling the air with lively- morning group conversation. I was noticing more thanks to my best friend, 8,000 miles away.

My morning pineapple tasted juicier than ever as I indulged in a mini-feast of honey-roasted sunflower seeds, a hard boiled egg, and taro-flavored sweet bread. What’s life if you’re starving by 10 AM? A free first class and the office was all mine, so I pointed all the fans at me and took in the sweetness that is early mornings in Thailand. The bell for second period rang and then the tables turned…

As I was walking up the four flights of stairs to class in the more secluded building 8, about a 7 minute walk from my office, I stopped, concerned, mid stairs. “Is that smoke I smell?”, said my attentive mind. I flashbacked to last week where on this same floor I confiscated a lighter, a 7th-grader style plastic pen pipe, and tobacco from some of my youngest students. Sure enough I followed my nose to the same closet the confiscation just recently happened. This closet was filling with smoke, but there was no fire to be seen. I enter the classroom of a Thai teacher who speaks no English to come over in a hurry. We together look for an origin to the smoke, at first with no success. We then decided let’s check the other closet, the one with it’s door coincidentally closed shut. Sure enough we open it up and there it was a legit fire! For some reason and old mattress, trash, balled up homework, and various other things were in this closet and they were now up in flames. I calm down the students down, tell them to stay in class, and in a panic remembered the Thai word for water, yelling “NAM! NAM! NAM!” Some handed me half-empty water bottles and some bolted down the stairs to the bathroom with empty buckets and trash cans in hand. I searched for an extinguisher. There was none. Sure enough no fire alarm system either. The other teacher ran and grabbed the other Thai teachers with classes downstairs. And about 5-6 minutes later, after of us ladies and a few boys tried our best to contain the flames from reaching the electrical wires amid the walls, 4 men who worked maintenance and discipline for the school showed up with two fire extinguishers. Slowly but surely the fire subsided, and class time although ticking away, still had to happen. In my now very smoky and very hot classroom, I taught. Shaken up and reeking of smoke, the first word on the board was “fire”.

And to think if I had been early to class. Soon enough for the smoke smell to not linger into the classroom, just the stairwell. Or if I had just dismissed the out-of-place smell to be of no big deal, like the Thai teachers did. Or if I hadn’t been teaching over in that building, on that floor just then. The fire would have and could have burnt down a wall, as the closet that was on fire was connected to my classroom. The fire could have gotten large enough and remained unnoticed to cause an electrical explosion. Or one of my students could have been burnt, or one or more of us killed.

Life was now playing its joke on me, not just my best friend. How fragile our existence becomes when something out of our reach, but close enough, loses control. All I can say is how thankful I am for my semi-stuffy nose and my pursuit of conscious moments. It saved us a little, and it could have saved us a lot.

Details flooded my mind and awareness set a peaceful fire in my heart as they day rearranged itself in front of me. I spent lunch with some Thai friends, the “Som Tam Lady”(She makes my lunch of papaya salad and sticky rice for me everyday) and her husband who speak zero English, and their friend with a little English who starts pounding whiskey at the ringing in of 12 noon. I more than ever talked to them in her dirt floored and reed-thatched roof of a “restaurant”. Asking if ‘dogs or cats’, how old they were, if they’ve traveled to other countries, to what islands of Thailand to go to, and showed them pictures of my family, dog, and my best friend and I, the one 8,00 miles away. I wanted the most out of these moments, I was not going to get them back.

I then went to 7/11 to pick up a little chocolate snack and gifts for the ones closest to me at school and witnessed two tourists (the first ever white people I’ve seen on this block) making a pit stop for snacks. They looked so deeply in contrast to the environment, as it’s completely Thai besides teacher Alyssa and I, and pretty grunge. She was wearing white jeans, heals, a floral blouse, huge sunglasses, and was trying to smoke a cigarette outside, but a once-quiet stray dog would not stop barking at her. I sensed her panicked energy as she was scared, incredibly uncomfortable, and knew she did not belong. As her husband entered 7/11, flip flops and cargo shorts included, three workers routinely and in synchronicity chimed “Sawat dee ka!”(Hello in thai). He stopped dead in his tracks dumbfounded and gave them the most blank stare. Searched around for a basket, then came close to the counter thinking they were asking for something and awkwardly said “Hello.” Based off the looks of it, they flew into Bangkok this morning, rented a car, and were on their way south to some paradise of an island getaway. It was the stark difference of learning a new language, experiencing a new culture, and living in Thailand (me) and taking only what you want, the scenic photographs, affordable activities, and glowing fresh Thai Winter tan (them). They left me thinking about how we should really live when we want to see the world. They left me feeling more grimy than my filthy Samut Sahkon streets, as they just seemed too willingly ignorant and somewhat greedy. But then again, I have no idea who they really are, other than the fact that they’re tourists and I’m a traveller, so I think.

Back at school again I was powering through my grading and very intently focused with a goal in mind. Now although that goal of a stack of tests was not accomplished and is now left for Monday, I enjoyed grading and organizing and being my teacher self. Even if there were no classes in the afternoon. Now all week I have been on medication for my foot whose circulation has been acting up and I don’t know if the chemicals are really coinciding with my body chemistry, since my toes are still not 100%. I’m a much more holistic and natural health enthusiast, so I knew I needed to try out something new. With the suggestion from my Thai Mom that would be a: 2-hour Thai Massage. So as 4:30 PM came around, me and my smokey clothes and grimy, sweaty skin hopped on the songtaew to the spa. Two hours, drooled on pillows, divine acro-yoga-thai-massage-postures, 54 bone cracks, and two cups of herbal tea later, Yim realized me into the streets of my now home. A fresh new stride came from the feet up and shoulders relaxed sent my heart upward, open and ready to receive. Sure enough I spontaneously ran into the amazing Taylor at the smoothie stand, had an amazing dinner together, and the rest of the night was history, until here. I wanted to post a status about my glorious day of conscious living and near death experiences but I figured it was just too deep for something as surface level as Facebook. So here I am now, 1862 words and counting later, I finally get it. This life is such a miracle because there’s an opportunity for miracles in each waking moment. In being conscious and present you unlock some sort of magical-mystery-everyday-is-Disneyland world that I can certainly get used to living in. Sometimes it’s enlightening, sometimes it’s dirty, sometimes it’s terrifying, sometimes it’s eye-opening, but if you squint just right, it’s going to always be loving and learning and just exactly what it is.

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“Each morning we are born again.                                                                                                                         What we do today is what matters most”

-Buddha (The quote I’ve had on my mirror for 2 months that I erased just last week)

“The moment is living,                                                                                                                                                Oh wait, it’s already passed                                                                                                                                        it’s now…now…now.                                                                                                                                                  Catch onto its energy                                                                                                                                                  and dance together                                                                                                                                                    now. Never looking                                                                                                                                                    back, only diving                                                                                                                                                        deeper into what                                                                                                                                                        simply is.”

– Me (The new quote added last week)

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Spontaneous Moments Captutred on Camera as of Recently:

Sorry, I know I should have. Should have already responded to your more than week late messages and emails. Should have uploaded more edited photos on Facecrack. And certainly should have not purposely left my smart phone at home. There are so many apps we should be connecting on! Or who knows, I could have even swiped right on “the one”!

But, I’m not one bit worried. Actually, change that ‘Sorry’ up there to my new favorite Thai saying and ode to peace: Mai bpen rai. The more intense Thai version of hakuna matata. Intense in that all the locals live, breathe, and speak this truth which translates to: ‘No means nothing/No worries/Don’t worry/Nevermind/It’s no big deal/Don’t mention it/You’re welcome/It’s okay…  (Wo)Man, this everyday saying has really worked a pleasant number on my patience and overall quality of life. Honestly speaking, this trip was not a self-advertising special to show off all my special moments with you. LOOK! I’m a traveler. WOW! I’m so cultured. OMG! I love Thailand and you should too. No, no, no. This adventure is for me. The deeper part of me that will forever yearn to be paid attention to, expressed, understood, and contemplated. A degree never yet achieved or defined.  I didn’t just randomly shed a mediocre relationship from my grasp or sporadically change locations with blinded eyes. My spirit was literally crying out to me. It needed some time away to wander, a respectable chance at ingrown bliss.

During tonight’s dinner over mouth-watering 30 baht ($0.97) pad thai kung (fried noodles w/ shrimp), a friend spoke from the heart as she proclaimed, “Since being in Thailand, I’ve never been happier.” Happy, happy, sabaidee! It’s in the air here. Thai people actively achieve happiness by acknowledging the beauty within. By eating well or at least keeping one’s temple well fed, meditating, smiling at everyone, talking to everyone, keeping harmony at the forefront of consciousness, showing respect through wais, the list goes on and on. People here seek peaceful happiness, not plump paychecks. The other night at the Hua Hin night market, a young Thai student was seriously amazed by the fact that my teacher friend, also American, said people in America seek money for happiness. He was seriously appalled by the ignorance in that empty equation. This boy, around 15-16 years old, confidently mentioned that, “Money can never bring happiness. Family brings happiness.”

Now that I have been living in Thailand for one month, I have had the joy to be apart of the formation of a new family. A group of young teachers, who all have somewhat similar stories as to why they needed to leave what was, and be right now in Thailand. My dear yellow group of 27 adventure-seeking English educators were lucky to call Baan Ton Mai Apartments (Thai for tree house) our home for the past month in Hua Hin.

Even though we were isolated in the foothills away from the 100 other Xplore Asia teachers, we were incredibly lucky to have each other and we got so damn close. Always happy, always, always laughing, and after -school, almost always with a Chang or air J in hand. It’s to no surprise that the beach was our favorite place to be. But we also worked hard in school, hiked an uphill and humid hour to an Avatar-like, heaven-on-earth cave, hung out with elephants (#elfies included), got trippy and artsy on an artist village, meditated to the sound of the ocean waves, danced our asses off in da club, alllllll of it, together. So even though I came here for me, it was to no surprise I found happiness as the Thai boy said, with family.

But now that Hua Hin’s resort town and English translated signs(Um Samut Sakhon get on that!) are five days gone, the memories will be burning bright in my heart forever. The yellow team, along with all the 100 other October Xplore Asia English teachers have been sent of to their placements. The family is spread apart but in my eyes, it’s always going to be together. Even though the faucets were turned on as our cheeks flooded with salty tears when we had to leave each other, reality is we came here by ourselves to teach. BUT MOM!!!! Beach resort town, like-minded young and beautiful family, treehouse livin’…why no haz forevvvver??! Still don’t have an answer for that one, but all I do know is that we are going to become so beautiful and strong within ourselves from here on out. We surely built each other on up, so now we are to grow til tall (Jonsi reference, eh?)

Home is wherever I can find myself growing and comforted by love, and the road and I sure do love each other lots. Leaving last Friday from taxi to van to taxi to SUV, the lovely road brought me to the industrious, bustling, and beautiful harborside province of Samut Sakhon. My new apartment, all to myself( AHHH dream come true!!!), is plopped directly into Samut Sakhon’s main hub of the Maha Chai district. Tucked between the fresh water of the Tha Chin River and the Thailand Sea, it’s to no surprise the pride and joy of this area is it’s fish! So luckily, the whole vegetarian for 12 years thing took a break one month before departing to Thailand, because fish has found a way to sneak into almost every meal. And my body must just love Thailand, since I have yet to even experience Thai Tummy. Hope I didn’t speak too soon! But Samut Sakhon is a wonderful hybrid of what is a little Bangkok and non-resorty Hua Hin. Pretty where it needs to be, but for the most part pretty urban and completely Thai. I’ve never felt like more like a celebrity before with the looks I get from natives. FARANG! FARANG! (Thai for Westerner or Whitey) They point and shout. I nearly expect paparazzi to be hopping out of bushes. But instead Samut Sakhon has 7 feet long lizard-iguana-dinosaur reptiles and snakes doing that duty instead. So, watch your toes, they might look like little hot doggies to some.

View from my 7th story apartment patio 🙂

Oh yeah, and school is seriously cool. Signed my contract today and it’s official, I’m an English teacher for Srinagarindra the Princess Mother School in Samut Sakhon! The 760 high school students who are all under my treacherous academic enslavement (haha ‘cept not, me too nice) for the next 6 months-1 year are about to become super jazzed about that whole English thang. Just make it fun. Keep it engaging. And honestly, “If you feel ridiculous and like a clown up front of them all”, as Jon said, “you’re doing it right.” Two days into teaching and I am loving it even more than I expected. I think they’re loving it too, or at least I hope the little love notes from both my boy and girl students are not lying. Ask me on Friday, and I might be super pooped to the point of wanting to change my mind about that. At least I’m not teaching Pre-K’ers 45 hours a week, with out a co-teacher anymore! Hallelujah, and praise Buddha. Good things do come in time. Just don’t give up, and let your richness glow from….ah, you know where.

Naturally, when the mind looks to something it may soon experience, all our understandings stir up an idea amid the base of our unbound imagination. A curious, healthy, and attentive mind subconsciously creates this image. Not a mega pixeled one, simply one of synapses and cells. Now when my mind was introduced to the idea of Bangkok (Or in it’s full: Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasi), a whole load of misinterpretations came to play.

On any given day, 16 million people frolic about here, making it home sweet home to 14 million Thai people. While I was still home sweet home in California, my mind was convinced that Bangkok was going to be a swarm of utter chaos. Complete with insane tuk tuk drivers, a cigarette in every other hand, hustling bustling and distracted locals, and a place where places of peace would be hiding far and few. But man, was I wrong. Despite the smog, which was really no worse than Los Angeles, this glowing city was a beautifully orchestrated work of controlled chaos. What would be a chattering, playful, and active classroom, with a balanced teacher that allowed grace and enthusiasm to take care and control. I heard no sirens, I saw no accidents, and everyone around was happily ready to make sincere eye contact and SMILE. After living in San Francisco for five years, a city of only 1 million, I was shocked at how different this all was from my own understanding of how a metropolis thrives.

With my initial flights out of SFO cancelled and a whole day lost to United Airline’s lack of professionalism, tears to the outsider looked like my best friend. But I pressed on, said my goodbyes to the pug muffin and family, and finally wiggled my way out of my shell and flew out of the Bay Area’s little cage. With a dear friend made on the way and many other single serving friends too (Fight Club, anyone?), I finally made it to Bangkok by way of Narita, Japan.

The clouds welcomed us with their fireworks of lightening and blessed us with buckets of heaven’s holy water. Passport check, check. Baggage, almost not a check, but check. (After some guy began carting off with my luggage, as ours were identical) Customs, check. Gate 3 with a sign with my name on it, check. Phew! “Sawat dee ka!” and I was welcomed with a smile. Naiusha from London, Canada was my first new teacher friend and together we shared a van to our hotel and marveled with bright eyes at this new world. Despite the fact that it was 2 AM, we still found complete joy in pointing out all the little details. We lost count of 7/11’s after 15 and could not get over how the streets and steering wheels were all on the wrong side. The sprawl of Bangkok was massive, and there were no bundled collection of tight knit high rises, they were simply everywhere. There were more mopeds than cars and traffic followed no American-like gridlock style roads. Kaeo Saan, a bar block, was pouring out the Saturday night party scene and street meat stands were of no shortage. The city was well, and we were both certainly feeling alive.

The next morning in Bangkok, I awoke in my charming and modern H-Residence Sathorn hotel room alongside the beautiful and vivacious Paulina from Delaware. We together went downstairs and met a ton more Xplore Asia/Greenheart Travel soon-to-be-pro English teachers. So much laughter, egg-fried rice, and new friends were had. Once our bellies were full and the proper amount of caffeine was consumed, a group of 11 of us ladies headed out for the Grand Palace, home to the Sacred Emerald Buddha.

The journey began with a short walk to the Sky Train, an even more modern and much more affordable version of San Francisco’s BART and underground MUNI pub trans. The air conditioning on our salty, soaky skin felt like a 5 year old’s first ice cream of the summer. And now for the fun part, the WATER TAXI! We all ungracefully stepped onto this very traditional looking and long canoe-like taxi. Floating past daredevil fishermen, shanty houses on eroding stilts, numerable uniquely gilded temples, and cargo ships just barely gracing the bridges’ bottoms. Yes, the water was very obviously polluted, but what would you expect from such a gigantic city? New York’s Hudson has forgotten what blue was decades upon decades ago. As life swirled all around, I couldn’t help but sit quietly and peacefully. Nothing my eyes had ever seen looked even merely like this.

Once we reached the shaky dock and unloaded, we made our way through a small market when Thailand let us know, “It’s monsoon season, yo!”, and the buckets once again came toppling down. Of course none of us brainiacs came prepared for such an event, so we had to be patient and work on our “Thai time” pace. Some killed the time with coconut water straight from the nut itself, others looked at all the little and big Buddha’s you aren’t really supposed to sell. According to the Thai government, the tattooing or selling of Buddha as a decoration is illegal….but they’re everywhere, like seriously, EVERYWHERE. And since all that my 4 year old niece asked for as a gift was a big Buddha, I might be breaking some laws too. But after about 20 minutes of downpour the clouds cleared and let us pass to the Grand Palace.

The 30 feet white walls that scoped the perimeter of the ginormous temple grounds were proudly protected by London-like uniformed men with semi-automatic weapons. No biggie. And since dress code is immensely tight to enter any temple, especially this one, a few ladies in our group had to rent out jail-style button ups for 200 baht ($3.50) a piece. No shoulders, no shorts, no V-necks, no skirts or dresses above the knee, no fun…haha just kidding! Sanuk, or fun in Thai, is never ever missing from any event in Thailand. Now that we were all properly dressed respectfully, we entered the palace gates…  ~Ommmmm~ … A lightness of peace swept across my heart, and the energy so pure whispered in my ear, “It will all be well”. I asked around to see if it wasn’t just me who felt that sudden presence, and I was not alone.

Looking up, the pointed temples rose high above all of our heads and their numbers were nearly uncountable without a 30 minute walk. Tiles of every color and shape graced the intricate patterns of all exterior walls, and those bare of porcelain radiated true with incredibly detailed paintings. A visual storybook of Buddha’s teachings and other elements of Thai’s rich traditions. As we all agreed on a meet up time, we wandered off with our cameras in hand to various corners of this nearly endless sanctuary. I was pulled internally to find the right place to sit, to soak up, to meditate on all that was now. I stumbled upon a perch at the top of 4 stairs that was guarded by two bird warriors statues, I knew this was the spot I was seeking out. It’s hard to write about meditation, it’s a bliss discovered within that can only consciously be achieved. Our messy minds carry around so many worries and lies, so that when you cover your eyes and dive beneath the mind and splash into your heart’s core, all this stuff is so irrelevant. Focusing on my third eye, my breath, and the chanting of hundreds of Buddhists currently in religious ceremony, I became entranced by the purity so obviously present amongst this palace. My posture wanted to send my heart high, my heart open and the minutes passed by with such ease. At one point I heard a little girl’s voice speaking in Hindu just inches from mine. I couldn’t help but open my eyes for a split second to take a peep, I’m not sure why she gravitated so close, but I felt so special that she was comfortable enough to do so. Even with my eyes closed and in complete stillness, the children find a way to come to me. I’m not sure how much time passed, but upon opening my eyes hazily and slowly I wandered the rest of the palace with such a divine energy inside my soul. It was happy, it was simple, and it was calm. The temple housing the Emerald Buddha demanded we remove our shoes, and I was delighted as this is an opportunity I never try to deprive myself of.  The Emerald Buddha itself was so tiny compared to the temple and mountain it was built upon. Gold statues, sacred statues, candles, incense, and lotus flowers to be dabbed with holy water on Buddhist’s heads were of no shortage here. Although I wanted to pitch a tent in those quarters and dwell in these grounds for days on end, it was time to go. Whispering my last few oms to myself, we headed out just as another rush of rain blew overhead.

After a short lunch of chicken, noodles, and a fresh mango smoothie, we made a pilgrimage to Wat Pho temple, a short 10 minute walk away. Monks, peddlers, pop up shops, and children playing were a commonplace passerby that each seemed so natural and comfortable in their place. Upon entering the gates of Wat Pho, we were greeted by one of the many stray cats of Thailand. He just sat there and took tabs on who was entering his righteous and blessed mini kingdom. Upon looking up from Mister Security Cat, I literally jumped and my hands shot up to support my chest. I thought we were just entering a random temple, but when I looked up I caught a quick glimpse at the largest Buddha and most golden statue I had ever laid eyes on. It gave me the chills instantly and I’d never been so excited to simply go inside. This Buddha was the whole length of the temple and it was so tall! It was constructed during the mid-1800’s when King Rama III was in power. It’s kind of like the pyramids in the sense that you can’t stop asking how? So much for my misconception of not finding places of peace in Bangkok, they were seriously readily available and welcoming all over the place! The day rolled on and the bliss carried its way throughout. I will never in my life forget this first, tantalizing, and magical day in the land of smiles.