Author: Samuel Grguric

It’s not a secret that appearances are one of the most highly regarded parts of a person’s life in South Korea. Women and men alike go to great lengths to keep in line with the social beauty norms of the country. Everyday life here is saturated with how you should or shouldn’t look, and people spend copious amounts of time and money to make sure that they make the cut. When I first moved here, I will admit to being just the slightest bit intimidated when every woman in Seoul seemed to be sporting flawless makeup on the subway in the middle of the day.

It’s not just that people want to be beautiful, it’s that people here want to fit into a very small sect of “classic” beauty that is just not possible. The typical standard here, though it varies from person to person, is having big eyes, a thin body, a small face and, of course, pale skin. Height certainly doesn’t hurt your chances of success, and having your makeup done on a daily basis is all but a requirement in both the work place and everyday life.

The beauty product market has been booming for the past several years with no signs of slowing down. Seoul is now considered the “World Capital of Plastic Surgery”. There are dozens of mainstream makeup and skin care brands, and, whether celebrity endorsed or not, they make an absolute killing selling everything from face masks, to whitening products, to creams for any part of your body you can think of. Mirrors are strategically placed on even the busiest of streets, littered throughout the subway tunnels, noticeable even inside bars and restaurants. There are entire TV shows dedicated to teaching women how to cover blemishes, showing which workouts will keep men and women in shape, dozens of commercials showing every hour the best lotions to make you look younger.

After your actual facial features and all of the extras that go along with making that look good, weight is the second biggest (no pun intended) hot topic here in Korea. And I’m not just talking about, “I want to be thin!”, it’s “I’m going to skip entire meals today because I had a big breakfast and I don’t want to gain any weight”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my Korean co-teachers tell me they’re “just not going to eat” so they don’t gain any weight. No matter how much we’ve told them that they are absolutely, 100% healthy and fine, “I want to lose my weight” is the most common phrase I’ve heard out of any woman’s mouth since I moved here.

Korean diet trends here can be outright dangerous, but because people look at the celebrities here and think, “I need to look like that to fit in, to not stick out”, it becomes normalized. There are celebrities who are revered in this country for going on insane diets, including the Sweet Potato diet that popular singer and actress IU reportedly went on to lose weight a couple years ago. She’s certainly not the only one that I’ve side eyed like, “Girl, you crazy!”. The ‘One Meal a Day’ trend is popular even among non-celebrities, but I’ve also seen crazy diets where singers especially have declared they only eat 1500 calories a DAY, or lose outrageous amounts of weight in just a few weeks or even days.

I didn’t come to South Korea with any small amount of confidence, but seeing the obsession around being stereotypically beautiful here it was easy to start asking myself, “Am I good enough…?”. I am a 5 foot 2 African-American, with boobs, who didn’t even learn how to put on eyeliner properly until I was 22 so, clearly, I was not in my element upon arrival. Still, against all odds, I’ve actually found more confidence living here for the past year than I did in all the years I lived in my own country. This honestly had a lot more to do with other people than it ever had to do with me.

Maybe because they can be so critical about themselves and everyone else, people here are also quick to point out things about others that they appreciate, or are even envious of. Sure, there are days when my co-teachers will straight up be like, “Damn you look a mess today, you going through a breakup?!?” But there have also been multiple instances where they’ve praised little things I didn’t even know about myself. The fact that I have a “small face” never even occurred to me before I moved here. I was extra terrified of not being pale and, thus, unwanted in a country full of whitening products. Yet, I’ve had  students who were tanned that told me I was beautiful because I was brown, that they knew they were beautiful too.

I’ll admit that there are still some times when I want to be able to look as nice in a skirt as the girl on TV, or even just want to fit in despite my foreigner status. But I’ve come to realize by watching all of these people who are obsessed with keeping their skin lighter, their waists slimmer or their eyeliner on point I just want them to embrace themselves as perfect the way they are. So often I tell my younger students to go against the crowd and be themselves, and I’ve slowly but surely come to find peace because I have to practice what I preach.

I’m sure other females, or even other males out there, can relate by being told nearly everyday by various family, friends, even strangers on the bus, to “be careful out there”. As a fairly small (I’m 5’2″ on a good day, 5’2.5″ on my tippy toes in the shallow end of the pool), and fairly independent woman, I’ve always taken these warnings in stride. After all, I know exactly all of the terrible things that could happen to me while I’m out on my own, or even in a crowded place. My whole life I’ve heard horror stories about what could happen as a lone female, hell even females in a pack. I’ve been taught invisible codes to give other women in public places if I feel like I’m in danger, taught to protect at all costs if I see a female in a harmful situation, to be on the defense long before I’ve even considered if I will need an offense.

In lots of ways all of the warnings and ‘what-ifs’ have certainly affected my everyday life. Of course I understand the need for caution, but when I decided that I was not only going to move abroad by myself, but then additionally have the nerve to TRAVEL alone, I will admit to being slightly annoyed when someone’s first reaction to my news was, “You’re going alone? But what if something happens to you?”

To this I almost always responded with, “I’ve got it, I promise”, when instead I should have said, “Anything could happen, but I’m always wary of just what “anything” could be and that’s the best I can do.”

Lots of women will think that just because their women their not able to travel anywhere, internationally or otherwise. But as someone who has both lived, worked and traveled to other countries abroad, all by lonesome I can tell you what my experiences have been and how they’ve not only made me a better traveler, but a stronger person as well.

1. Always be cautious…

Obviously you’re going wherever you’re going because you want to have a good time. You don’t want to be limited by anything other than possibly your bank account and physical capabilities (how long you can dance in the club before your legs just say no and give out). I get that, I totally do, but if you read any part of the first few paragraphs you’ll know that you should always be careful.

Be wary of guys AND girls that look a little…off. No matter how hot that guy/girl is, we’ve ALL seen Taken (if you haven’t, a hot guy asks to share a taxi with the main home girls then saves this location to later kidnap said home girls) and we know that pretty faces can still kidnap you. Keep any and all possessions on your person limited to the bare essentials and NEVER carry anything super expensive unless you plan on it being literally connected to your hand at all times. My typical rule is if it can’t fit in my pockets I need to re-think what I’m taking with me. The less you carry the more it looks like you’re from around that area and don’t need those things anyway. You could just be going down the street to a friend’s house, those people don’t know your life!

There’s obviously so much more, but the last thing I’ve got for you is if you feel like you’re in a situation where a guy/girl is bothering you, do the fake phone call. This seems so obvious, but so many of my friends have said, “I just didn’t think of it at the time”, or, “They would have totally known it was fake”. The latter might put your acting skills to the test, but I absolutely believe you can do it for the few minutes it will take you to get to a public area.

2. …but don’t limit yourself because of fear!

I know I’m probably contradicting myself here, but just because you know that craziness could happen doesn’t mean that you should only do what’s “safe”. When I first decided to finally go to Japan, I will admit to being a little terrified of the subway of all things. Originally, I was going to absolutely avoid using the subway at all costs. I found out pretty quickly that this was a crappy plan since that meant I would have to a) stay in the small area I was in for 5 days, or b) Take an expensive taxi ride to anywhere I wanted to go for 5 days. Neither of those options quite appealed. Then I decided I wasn’t going to go out past a certain time of night, but half of the fun things in the world don’t get going until after 10 PM! In the end, I went way past my comfort zone and was so grateful I did in the long run. It was absolutely worth it to make memories and friends I wouldn’t have if I’d stayed in my room.

3. Make friends!

Here’s where I unashamedly put in a travel plug for staying hostels. Before I moved to Korea I was all about super cheap hotels/motels, mostly because I had never even seen a hostel, let alone stayed in one. Hostels in Europe especially get kind of a bad rap, but it’s honestly here that you’ll meet other people who are just like you. This is where all the travelers are going to be staying, and trust me when I say they’ve probably got at least one plan that’s cooler than your original one. Not to mention this is where you’ll most likely find someone to hang out with so you don’t have to wander around a strange place on your own. Also, new people are super fun. I find that they’re the best part of my trip, especially since travelling in packs is always safer than wandering alone.

4. RESEARCHHHHHH…

Before you go anywhere, make sure you actually know where you’re going. When I say know where you’re going, I don’t just mean checking out what you’re going to be doing. Your schedule won’t necessarily be important until you actually arrive. Knowing what kind of area you’re going to be staying in, though, is something you should be a little more aware of. Especially in larger cities or more popular destinations you should know things in terms of: amount of people, places to avoid, areas where most of the young crowd likes to go, etc. Though looking into the area doesn’t guarantee any kind of safety, it’s good to feel like you know what you’re expecting and what you’re walking into.

5. Stay in the thick of things!

Which leads me to you staying as close to as many people as you can. Now, there’s a huge asterisk next to this one because sometimes you just want to be in nature and the complete opposite of near people which is also totally fine. However, if you’re trying to stay in a city or a huge touristy area it’s best to stay close to where other people can help you if you need it, or if you need to make a quick get away you’ve got an area where taxis or public transportation are plentiful. Of course here you’re going to need to be more cautious than if you were outside of the big city, but in my experience I’ve found that being around more people has actually made me feel a little safer. Contradictory in some people’s cases, I know, but trust me that the best way to go unnoticed is by being in a huge crowd.

The first time the words casually came out of my mouth I was shocked.

During a week long vacation in September I went to Tokyo to just kind of get away for a little while, but also to start on my “I want to see it all!” fantasy. The trip was great, but on my last night as I sat in the living room of the hostel with about a dozen others I sighed and mock lamented, “Man, it’s going to be so weird speaking Korean again when I get home.”

A few people nodded in understanding, one of my new friends giggled a little, but no one acknowledged what I had said because they obviously didn’t understand the implications. I remember tensing up a little because for the first time I realized that home was not where it had always been for the past 20+ years of my life. I will admit it was slightly terrifying to think that when I said ‘home’ I didn’t mean a suburb in Texas, my extended families’ homes on the East coast, or in any of the United States in general. Subconsciously I had been calling my little studio apartment in the middle of Chungju ‘home’ for months, but saying it out loud was an affirmation that I had abandoned any pretense that it was anything more than a place I simply lived.

My home in Korea is the first one I have made for myself with only the slightest of guiding hands. I’m the one who decided that decorating my apartment meant just taping pictures on the walls, that found out which restaurants are healthier and, therefore, to be avoided at all costs. No one else in my family back home knows the places I like to eat at that are simply closer to where I live, the cooks who know my name and face because I’ve been so often, or what I like to do on the weekends when I’m not doing my best to imitate a hibernating bear. I know all of the intricacies involved with taking a bus, a train, the subway, even flying. I have favorite foods now that I’m not sure whether or not I’m going to have withdrawals from when I finally leave. I have hobbies that are entirely my own (for a brief moment I took up cooking…?), I’ve conquered fears, learned a new language (sort of), met new people and taken myself on journeys I never thought were possible.

It’s a combination of all the little things that have helped me to make this place home, but the moment I bought my plane ticket back to Texas to visit my family was the first time I realized how attached I really was. I was actually on the verge of a mini anxiety attack as I searched for flights. After a long minute I finally discovered why I was being so weird. So small but so glaringly obvious, I nearly slapped myself when I realized the problem was that, while I had been searching, I hadn’t clicked ‘Roudtrip’.

Immediately after I subconsciously recognized that I was, in fact, coming back to Korea I relaxed. My shoulders completely relaxed, my heart stopped pounding, and I laughed a bit at my overreaction. But it wasn’t an overreaction at all because for a second I truly thought that I was losing what I’ve taken so long to build: my new home.

This past month, nearly exactly a year to the day, I finally visited my friends and family back in the good old US of A. Of course I was excited, happy to finally be somewhere where I understood everyone and I knew exactly where to get all the products I’ve been without while all the way across the ocean. But in the back of my mind, late at night so I couldn’t examine it too closely, I found myself wondering what was going on “back home”. I couldn’t exactly remember if I had turned off the heater and nearly groaned at the bajillion won bill I was going to find if I hadn’t. I wondered what my friends and Korean families were up to, if the kids I saw once a week were studying hard, if the very nice barista at the Starbucks down the street from my apartment was going to think I had moved away or died since I see her at least once a week and hadn’t been in nearly 2.

I’m not going to be so dramatic as to say I was itching to get back or that I would rather be in Korea than my original home. I absolutely treasured every moment I had in America like it was my last, but I also acknowledged that it was no longer the only home I had. It’s not crazy that I finally think of this place as more than a foreign country or just my place of employment. It has been over a year after all! It is however, strangely comforting, to find that I finally find myself equally comfortable in both places, something that I didn’t think was ever going to be possible no matter how much I loved living here.

In short, anywhere I feel comfortable enough to dance around the room in my underwear while doing laundry is home to me and honestly probably always will be.

There are days that I love my job. I mean, like, wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, I’m staying forever and growing old, love my job. There are also, like everyone else in the world, days where I want to simply curl up in a ball under my desk and not move for the rest of the day. Of course there are plenty of factors that go into making a day great or terrible: whether I could get my hair to do what I wanted that morning, the weather, being sick, being HUNGRY, etc. But no matter what my mood when I wake up in the morning, it can be instantly changed depending on just one thing: my students.

Now, being at an English Center means that I’ve taught, from the beginning of this year, hundreds of students from all over my Province, plenty of them just from my city. We never know what they’re going to be like when they arrive. Some weeks can be super challenging if the students are like dead weight, meaning that for whatever reason they’re not vocal in class or have a hard time participating. Other weeks are challenging for completely different reasons. Students being out of control or behaviorally challenging can make a week feel like a year. Then there are the weeks that are absolutely stellar, perfect to the point of true terror because I’m waiting on something to go wrong. These are weeks where the students are actively participating in class, aren’t necessarily any kind of fluent but ask questions and genuinely want to learn while also managing to behave. They are any teacher’s dream, and while I don’t expect every week to be that way, they certainly put things in perspective.Of course my Gifted Class, the one class I do have complete control over and see regularly, are my babies. Their behavior I can see fluctuate, race and calm as if we were in a normal class setting.

All of our students that we see are completely different in learning style, in personality, in learning goals even if they don’t know they have them. After every week I realize I’ve learned something new, whether I meant to or not. Sometimes I prefer the challenging weeks because those students often teach me almost as much as I taught them. Hundreds of students later I am absolutely no expert, but I have picked up on the following:

 

1. Never get comfortable

For me it’s very easy to get into a routine when teaching, and even EPIK highly suggests using a certain formula in the classroom. Though it works a lot of the time, using the same formular over and over makes it worse when you have to veer off the beaten path. My students absolutely don’t know or care that I am on any kind of schedule when teaching. They don’t care that I’ve only allotted 5 minutes for warm-up because if they like the activity we’re going they’re going to do their best to drag it out and now we’re 15 minutes in and I’m running 10 minutes behind. I may never win the Nobel Prize of Teaching, but if nothing else the flexibility I have developed with 5th graders should become legend. At the beginning of the year I would scramble and freak out a little if I was even 5 minutes behind, let alone 10. Now, I’ve got 9 backup activities and alternate lesson plan in my back pocket so that even if we got interrupted halfway through by SWAT my students would be able to teach them what we we’ve been learning. Ain’t nobody messing with my class.

 

2. Absolutely no one learns the exact same way

Just as you’ll have to adjust for yourself, you need to adjust for students needs too. I had one boy who could not understand a word I was saying (a common theme with younger students especially) and it was very difficult for him as all of our classes are in English. I discovered about 10 minutes into class that he was scribbling on a piece of paper. In response, I started trying to draw different countries to have students guess what they were and what continents they were on. I am absolutely no Picasso and by the end of class even my co-teacher was dying laughing at my drawing of Europe…but the point was that I had every student’s attention, and everyone understood what was happening. Including my little scribbler in the corner who had all but given up on the day.

 

3. Lack of response means a million different things

It’s so easy to want to get on a kid who’s not participating in class. Whether they’re just not looking at you or are actively trying to do something else, I find my eye immediately going to this one particular student throughout class, and if it’s more than one I find myself getting discouraged by their lack of response. It’s very easy for me to begin immediately internalizing that I’m not doing a good job when that’s not the case. So I’ve recently had to learn to rein in any and all of my emotions and simply readjust. Sometimes I go from one very rambunctious class where I need to be firmer in my control and, consequently, my lecture. Then I go to the next one that is silent as the grave for various reasons. The students in what I have nicknamed The Graveyard Shift could just be tired, having a bad day, or don’t understand what the heck is going on. Either way, before anything else I used to often find myself wondering what I did wrong. Now, instead of dwelling, I press on. A lot of times I sense that they’re simply afraid so I start off super calm, speak incredibly slowly, and then gradually warm them up. Then I push more energy into the room, praise even the smallest feedback, dance around to prove a point, get overwhelmingly excited at responses so they’re encouraged to get teacher to continue acting silly.  Of course, these things are hit and miss and acting like half an idiot to get your students out of their shell might not be your thing. Still, I can’t tell you how much of a difference warming them up to the idea that they can can make. If nothing else, just remember that it’s not necessarily about you. Try your best, but don’t be bummed when your lesson on Thanksgiving isn’t as hard hitting as you’d hoped it would be. They’re trying even if it doesn’t look like it.

 

4. You’re not perfect, and you don’t have to be.

On bad days it’s easy for me to think, ‘Did I even teach them anything? What are they taking away from this?‘. I know several teachers who tell me they’ve thought the same thing, that sometimes even when they were trying their absolute best it didn’t feel like they’d done anything at all. After a particularly grueling class the week before, I sat my Gifted Students down and asked them to write in their journal what they felt was the most important thing they had learned in class that year. The answers were shocking. They wrote about lessons that had happened months before, about words they’d learned, countries they hadn’t known existed before, told me all about how their confidence with English had improved because I never told them they were wrong just tried to correct their mistakes. I’m not even ashamed to say I got a little teary eyed. Just because they don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean they don’t hear you and think what you have to say is important.

 

My students have also taught me less hard hitting things, like how to play Rock-Scissors-Paper in groups larger than 2, Korean slang, the best way to eat ddeokbokki, small things that I still try not to take for granted. After the first few months I no longer try to pretend that I am just their teacher as I’m learning everyday just as much as they are. Still, I pray they never have an Anakin Skywalker moment and try to use the Force I’ve taught them against me…

 

Though we’ve lived here for over 8 months, last month I found myself as an actual tourist for the first time since arriving in Korea! A friend of mine came to visit and we spent 4 awesome days finding things to do in Seoul which is, unsurprisingly, not that difficult. Here are a few things we managed to check out in the time that he was here and a couple of things I wish we’d gotten to do.

 

1. Namsan Tower

So if you’ve ever seen any Korean drama EVER you know Namsan Tower as the place where couples go to “lock their love away” on the wall of key locks, or to enjoy dinner at the top of Seoul Tower late at night (which, by the way, is EXTRA expensive), or take a super romantic cable car journey up to the top of said Tower for dinner. While our trip to Namsan was absolutely not romantic, there were still a million places to take pictures and eat so big bonus for eatery plus scenery! Also I may have re-enacted a few dramas while we were on the cable car on the way up…I regret nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Shopping in Myeongdong

Everyone knows that Myeongdong is the place to go for basically anything you’re looking for. Shoes, clothes, food, everyone and their brother is out there seemingly just for you! Why it’s great for tourists: There’s a ton of cheap shopping and nearly everyone speaks English because, hello, it’s in Seoul, and also they deal with so many foreigners a day it’s a wonder they’re not fluent in at least a dozen languages by now, let alone English. There are also conveniently located currency conversion banks all over the place so even if you don’t plan on eating or shopping (which, why would you not want to do at least one of the two???) you can at least get cash for something else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Gyeongbokgung Palace

This awesome palace is one of 5 beautiful palaces, and don’t let the picture fool you, this place is HUGE. Royalty lived in style even by today’s standards, and it’s always interesting to see the many places modern and and past culture collide. My personal favorite is the picture where you can see the huge buildings in the background through the archway from hundreds of years ago…

  

4. Han River Ferry tours

So this is one we didn’t actually get to do but was something I super wanted to! There are a ton of different kinds  of ferry rides that you can take that take you around the Han River, including one that includes a Magic Show, another a buffet and another that has a live concert as you ride along. You can leave from several locations, Yeouido, Jamsil, and Tteukseom, and you can get a full schedule as well as actual locations here!

5. EATING ALL THE THINGS~!

If there is one things Korea has to offer, it’s food, and Seoul is absolutely no exception. My favorite place to get Kimchi cheese fries (They are amazing, absolutely DO NOT knock em til you fall in love with them…) is in Gangnam, but I can chomp down a burger like no other in Hongdae at Burger B. Also literally ANY food in Itaewon is going to satisfy you, but Ben’s Cookies on Market Street is one of the most delicious things I’ve ever eaten in my life. I could give you guys specific locations til I’m blue in the face, but truly you should try the street food anywhere you go. It’s cheap, it’s fresh, and more than likely if it looks delicious it is delicious.

In the past month since I actually posted a blog post (see, what had happened was…), I have had some stellar opportunities and experiences that, I promise, are worth not having posted in quite sometime. Back in September I got to live out a childhood dream by going to Tokyo for a week’s vacation. Dream or not though, I was super nervous about going before I even hit the airport. I was excited sure, but I was also about to do basically everything that I’ve been told was dangerous from birth: travelling, internationally, alone, as a female, staying in a hostel (again, lone female), and then wandering through a huge city thousands of miles away from home with virtually no contact at my disposal outside of Facebook and KakaoTalk in the rare moments when I had Wi-Fi.

By the end of my trip any traces of nervousness were a shadow of a memory and I actually tried to plan it out to stay longer. I had never felt so free doing simple things like managing to successfully navigate the subway alone, or when I made it on my own to the hostel, or even just ordered my first meal by myself. It was like all of a sudden I had this grand epiphany in the middle of Harajuku that I was small but absolutely capable of handling situations like a proper adult…sort of. But sort of is better than not at all!

Though I had plenty of opportunities growing up to go out and see most of the continental United States, with a couple of cool trips abroad sprinkled  into the mix, I always had my family or someone else with me. Coming to Korea was the first decision I had ever made to go anywhere where I was  truly going to be by myself. Even in college I already knew several people straight on arrival, and I wasn’t far from home at all. To say it is scary to  suddenly decide you’re going to hop on a plane and just go, metaphorically of course, where “no man has gone before” is an understatement.You’re  going to be at least a little nervous no matter who you are.

I actually almost cancelled the entire trip to Tokyo out of sheer, irrational terror. I suddenly had to make all the decisions on my own: where to sleep,  how I was going to pay for things, what I wanted to do once I got there, how on Earth I was going to communicate. Not to mention the fact that if  anything happened to me, how were my parents going to know? How was anyone going to know???

I am one of those people who worries about everything, a type-A control freak who would rather learn to fly the plane than allow my life to be in the hands of experienced pilots because that’s just how I am. The unknown is not a  good look for me. If, like me, you’re worried about going abroad alone, whether it be to Korea, Japan, Thailand or anywhere you may need to cross an ocean, I have very sage advice to give:

Don’t be.

I know, Earth shattering right? What would you do without me? But seriously, I spent quite a few days before leaving both America and Korea for parts unknown worrying about what was waiting on the other side. I’m not saying not to go prepared, I’m just saying not to hold back because you don’t know what’s going to happen. Once you get to the plane and reach your destination, honestly the hard part is over. Things you’ll probably worry about that you shouldn’t:

What am I going to do when I get there???

If you’re the type that likes to make a detailed list of what time and where you’re going for everyday of your vacation or trip that is absolutely, beyond fine. I actually envy you. If you’re like me with only a vague sense of what there even is to do, this is for you. If you’re going to an even remotely touristy area it’s totally okay to play it by ear while abroad. Sure you’re going to find cool things to do on the internet that everyone knows about, and chances are that they’re cool for a reason and something you should check out. But once you get there chances are that locals are also going to be able to tell you about equally cool, if not more so, things to do. That’s how I got dragged into a random dance battle while on the street in Tokyo and to say I planned that would be a flat out lie.

How many clothes is too much clothes…?

No matter where you’re going there is more than likely going to be a washing machine, and if not that, water and some soap for your clothing needs. Bearing this in mind, I would say not to pack a ton of stuff. Keep in mind seasons of course, planning for the Winter can be especially excruciating, but for the most part I say pack essentials that you can wear more than once (aka JEANS), and tops that you can layer so you can also possibly get away with wearing those more than once too. You’re probably going to be running around all day doing God knows what, there’s really no need to worry about packing all of your clubbing clothes plus a ball gown. Also, if you wear something twice in a row it’s basically vintage so there’s that.

What if something happens and I’m out there alone?!

Unless you plan on getting stranded in the Sahara Desert or a mountain range in December, I’d say you’re going to be ok. However, it’s obviously really important that someone know where you’re going to be with a way to get in contact with you like Facebook or even e-mail. I gave several of my friends and family back home deadlines of when they’d hear from me, whether through FB or otherwise, along with my hostel’s phone number and my school here in Korea’s contact info. If they didn’t hear from me they were to try and contact me first, then the hostel, then whoever was in Korea in that order for word on my sudden appearance if there was one. Though I’m sure if anything had actually happened my mother would have sent half the US Army out to find me which would have made my carefully made list of emergency contacts moot. In retrospect this may have been a bit excessive, but to be fair I was travelling to a country where no one knew me and my phone wasn’t going to work, and I felt better for having been prepared. Also, always carry some form of ID on you at all times. I was too nervous to carry my passport in case I lost it, but I had my Alien Registration Card from Korea and my American ID on me always just in case.

Also, always know where your country’s closest embassy is in any country. This is going to definitely come in handy when/if any kind of disaster strikes. See: literally any emergency movie ever.

I don’t speak a lick of the language where I’m going…

This was one of my biggest concerns but it turned out to be one of the things that I most definitely should not have worried about. You’d be amazed at what sign language and the 5 words you looked up online while you were in the airport can accomplish.

 

 

 

 

 

Whether you’re going near or far, for a long or short period of time, I say go big or stay home. There’s no use wondering ‘What if?’ because I would have kicked myself hard enough to leave a mark should I have actually given into the urge to stay home. Remember that any adventure is an adventure and should be treated as such: with no expectations, an open mind and a hearty dose of ‘Well, here goes nothing’. Go forth traveler, whether alone or with others, and may the Force be with you!

Sure I do a lot of teaching here in Korea, but there are also lots of things that teaching in Korea has taught me. I can definitely thank my students for half of my new teachings because there is just nothing like teaching in a Korean classroom.

 

1. You start talking to everyone, no matter if they’re fluent speakers, friends and family, at a much slower pace. 

It’s not that you think they’re stupid, but you’re used to trying not to speak as fast to give your students time to catch up and it’s a hard habit to break.

 

2. You’ve got stories for DAYS about the crazy -ish your students say to you inside and outside the classroom.

 

3. After months of having Kimchi for lunch (which you have, at some point, gained an affinity for), you will miss food from home something FIERCE…

 

4. Literally ANY problem in the classroom can be solved with Gawi Bawi Bo (scissors, rock, and paper). Anything.

It is NOT just a game, it is a way of LIFE!

 

5. Korean Surprise is as real as outer space and twice as hard to understand.

Oh you mean I’m supposed to be teaching another class right now? That I’ve never done before? Our director’s on his way to observe the class as well? I’ve got 15 minutes? Splendid!

 

6. The only time you’re going to escape a work related outing when it is brought up is never. 

The chances of you going home sober are also slim, no matter whether it’s a Tuesday night or not. Accept it.

 

7. You know the words (and dances) to songs you will probably never actually understand, whether intentionally or not.

But you’ve got to admit, some of them are definitely catchy!

 

8. Keeping up with who is or isn’t popular in a boy or girl group is next to impossible. Accept that they will probably all appear the same to you and you will just have to take your kids’ word for it that they’re good.

I have learned to never question the power of EXO no matter what, I just press play.

 

9. The more Korean words you learn the more you’ll try them in the classroom, only to have your students laugh outright at your adorable Korean baby babble.

Either that or they’ll try to add to your slim vocabulary collection with something more complicated than you are willing to handle.

 

10. You’ve developed the most unique sign language anyone’s ever come up with, but as long as your students understand that you meant ‘Why is that bad??’, you will flap your arms like a bird for the rest of the school year if you have to!

 

11. God bless that one student who always responds to your questions and/or translates to the rest of the class.

 

12. God save you when they’re absent.

 

13. There are days when your kiddos will drive you absolutely insane…

 

14….but you love them for better or worse because, seriously, what else would you be doing?

It’s no secret that image is very important in Korean culture and I’ve mentioned briefly in the past how my Korean co-teachers, and, well, all Koreans in general, have absolutely no problem telling you exactly what they think of you when it comes to your appearance. Whether it’s a first meeting or you have known each other for awhile, I have learned more about myself in the past 6 months than I knew in my entire life back home because no one here has any qualms letting me know anything about myself whether I want to know or not. In a way it can be very refreshing having someone say everything they think about you to your face , including your personality. It can also be a little discombobulating when someone tells you, with absolutely no remorse, that you look “much prettier with makeup on”.

You have to understand that if someone here in Korea makes a comment about you to you it is hardly ever, in my experience, said with spite. Unless, as I learned on the subway the morning after a particularly rough night in Hongdae, it is to inform you that you look as though you ‘have no class’ and next time should probably ‘wear heels’. To that ahjumma that was offended by my clear lack of image control at 8 in the morning after getting home at 5, I apologize. I also never knew there could be so many things a person could be to make them attractive or unattractive. For example, I found out that I have not just a small face, but big eyes, a normal but high bridged nose (which, I am told, is a pretty foreigner thing), small ears and a “glamorous” (which basically means big boobed) body. These are apparently my “attractive” qualities. But make no mistake, I am far from perfect as anyone who works with me will be able to tell you by the end of every work day.

I have literally a million stories just  from being at work where I was flabbergasted at the lack of sugarcoating that goes on. One day I was definitely not feeling life, but was smiling and felt as though no one really knew what a struggle it had been to get out of bed that morning while also staying awake. At least, no one said anything. My fellow English speaking teachers remained oblivious and, other than a couple of extra glances through the day, my Korean co-teachers seemed that way as well. I should have known better than to think I was off the hook. The next day, after I was feeling much better, my co-teacher says to me, “Wow, you look much better today!” Jokingly I responded, “Oh? Did I look bad yesterday?”

Pause.

Now, if I had said something like this at home to a friend, or really anyone who’d made the comment, their response would have been something along the lines of, “No, you didn’t look bad, you just look really nice today!” I don’t know why, after 6 months of living here, I thought the response would be anything like that at all. It’s like I haven’t lived in this country at all! What I should have expected, and what came out of my co-teacher’s mouth, with a frown, was, “Yeah, yesterday you looked really tired and your skin condition was not that great. But today, much better!” Then, with a smile and a flounce, she patted me on the shoulder and waltzed right into the classroom.

These situations are absolutely not uncommon, and they are absolutely not intended to be negative or degrading in any way. Especially now that they know us so well and we see each other everyday, our fellow teachers are normally full of compliments, happy to say how nice someone’s hair looks that day, how small their waist, how cute a guy’s new haircut or how nice someone’s outfit looks on them. When comments are made about someone’s acne or how and their condition looks, it is often said out of legitimate concern and observation rather than a pointed display of flaws. My ultimate favorite story of ‘Well ok then…’ came from my students, of whom I should definitely have expected great verbal material but was, as usual, caught off-guard at their candidness.

That day I had worn my glasses simply because I hadn’t felt like putting in contacts that morning, with my hair in a bun for basically the same reason, and a very average outfit for me which consisted of leggings and a rather basic top. When I walked in my kids were shocked. They hadn’t seen me with my glasses on and demanded I take them off and put them back on several times to be able to tell key differences in my appearance. My favorite comments were:

“Teacher! No glasses, no pretty. Glasses, very pretty!”

Well, thank you Adam!

“Woah, teacher, BIG eyes! Like…plate!”

…Ok, thank you Annabella!

“Face looks smaller.”

I want to say that’s a good thing, so thanks again!

Then, just as I was about to actually feel good about myself before lunchtime on a Wednesday (unheard of, really), another one of my co-teachers comes down the hall and says, “Ah yes, you look much smarter with glasses!”

And, as though I never learn, I said, “I don’t always look smart?!”

To which he and all my students pause, stare at me for a moment and, he responds, “Hm…maybe today you just look smarter!”

…thank you.

What I’m basically trying to say here is, through all of the comments about whether or not I have lost weight, the one time my co-teachers called me out (at lunch) because I had a giant pimple the size of Manhattan on my face, or the one time I tried a new dress and they told me I looked like a grandma, I know that my Korean counterparts only tell me these things out of love and concern. You should know as well, that no matter whether you are teaching or simply coming here for a visit, someone is going to comment on your appearance to you. Take it all in stride and bask in it, because very rarely will you come across this kind of honesty in your life again. Besides, they comment on each other’s appearance just as much so you’re not that special. And remember, nothing they say to you will ever beat the time we were at lunch and one of the MALE Korean teachers asks, “Don’t you think [female Korean teacher] should lose weight?” To which she responded, “Don’t you think [male Korean teacher] should fix that new haircut?” Back home, them’s fighting words. Here, mere observations. And I love it.

” Actually, not many people know this, but I tried to come to Korea before I came through EPIK, and when it fell through I was absolutely devastated.”

“You want to…teach. In…South Korea? Why?”

“What on Earth is in South Korea?” 

“What happened to you wanting to be on TV?!”

When I told everyone my decision to move to Korea, I got questions like this all the time. As my 6 month anniversary in Korea rapidly approaches I feel like I am finally allowed to sit back and marvel at the journey I’ve taken. There were lots of reasons why I eventually chose to move halfway across the world to a country I had never been before where I could barely speak the language.

Quite frankly, none of those reasons matter now.

What matters is that I’m here, doing something I literally never thought I would be, fulfilling dreams I didn’t know I had.

In the weeks before graduation when I told my immediate family that I wanted to move to South Korea, to teach of all things, they were more than slightly confused. After all, I was about to graduate with a Television Broadcast degree, and at long last it seemed I’d be starting out on my path to becoming the next Oprah, a dream I’d had since I was a child interviewing my teddy bears (Literally. I was crazy.). Though they were outwardly supportive, I honestly don’t think they took me all that seriously until I was offered an actual reporter position not even two months after graduating. I mentally, physically and emotionally struggled with my decision to take this job for days. I was already in the process of trying to come to Korea, and I knew if I took that job I was never going to make it overseas.

 

In the end I obviously turned the job down, and I have yet to regret that decision even in the turmoil that 
followed. Actually, not many people know this, but I tried to come to Korea through a private Hagwon before I came through EPIK, and when it fell through in August, weeks before I was expecting to step on a plane, I was absolutely devastated. I had turned down a job for this opportunity, put everything on the line only to have my dream forcibly taken from me. When I randomly ran into Greenheart Travel online just after this devastation took place and found out I wouldn’t be able to come to Korea until February, I gave up all that was left of my already dwindling hope. My thoughts were racing with negativity: I had to get paperwork together far too quickly, there was no way I’d be able to scrounge up $1000 in 4 months, and could I stand to go through everything all over again just to be rejected once more…?

Ultimately, I couldn’t tell you what made me finally decide to go through with it, gather the paperwork again and pull myself up by my bootstraps, but I know that from the moment I made the decision to get here I was working my butt off. At one point I was working 3 jobs to save up for both a plane ticket and for when I actually got to the other side of the world. I wasn’t sleeping, I certainly never saw my friends, and my family was starting to worry that I’d gone crazy. Still, I had a goal and a million reasons so I was sticking to it.

When I finally got my placement in late January, I’m not ashamed to admit that I opened that e-mail and cried like a baby. I had been through what felt like Hell and back and what I had wanted for years was finally, finally, real. I had no idea what I was walking into really, but I knew that I had been studying the language and the culture for over 2 years and that I wanted, needed, to make this work because I wanted it more than anything.

6 months later I still acutely remember how stressed I was just over a year ago when my plans first fell through,
along with every bump in the road that came after. While those memories remain, they’re overridden by new ones. Like crazy summer nights on a random beach. That one time I took a crazy 9 hour bus adventure with friends and slept on a stranger’s floor (do NOT tell my mother). I remember (and also only kind of remember…) any and every weekend I’ve spent in Seoul with friends old and new. Instead of thinking back on the tears and frustration I prefer to remember laughing uproariously in noraebangs as we screamed ‘Hey Jude’ into a mic, or when we celebrated absolutely nothing on a Friday night in a bar the one time I had to go in to work the next morning (the results, as you may have guessed, were tragic).

The reason coming to Korea is the greatest thing I could have done isn’t the fact that I overcame so many obstacles, or anything so dramatically ‘Remember the Titans’ worthy as that. Coming to Korea was the greatest thing I could have done because for the first time I did something entirely for me, free falling into an opportunity in which I had no idea what was waiting on the other side. And you know what, I feel like I’m finally making the difference I’ve wanted to make since interviewing those teddy bears at age 5 .

I may not be mic’ed up and ready to give the world’s greatest interview just yet, but walking into the classroom everyday to my students excitedly yelling “TEACHER!” gives me the same feeling as walking onto any stage. Giving out stickers on homework is my new “And YOU get a new car!” equivalent. On very rare bad days when I miss the simplicity of talking into a camera, students will literally half mime-half speak the world’s best broken English and cheer so loud when I understand them I feel more important than any celebrity on the planet.

Basically, my decisions and reasons for coming mean virtually nothing in comparison to what I’m actually accomplishing now that I’m here.If you’re on your way here, whether in a week, a month, a year or 10, your reasons don’t have to be ginormous or profound or spiritual. Your reasons for coming aren’t that big a deal, it’s what what you do while you stay that truly matters, and it took me a long time to see that.

I plan on staying for a while yet, and even though not everyday is perfect, it’s the perfect days that remind me why I fought so hard to get here in the first place. I’m sure I’ll get back onto the path of Oprah eventually. For now, I’ll pretend that moments like the ones where my students tell me how much they learned and how much they hope to achieve have been captured on film, and that’s really enough for me.